Mail Time with Itachi and Temari!
by xxFranceExx
Summary: Send letters, questions...and even ask advice to the one and only Uchiha Itachi and Temari. Also send in dares you want them to do. Featuring Mailbox from Blues Clues. Read inside for more information. Guest stars included!
1. Intro Chapter: Lets Get it On!

**IMPORTANT note**: The next chapter you read, "Just the Details", was originally the first "intro chapter". But since this chapter is way better than the original, "Just the Details" is moved into another chapter as a part of the NEW intro chapter and just to review you guys of the details of this fic, just in case you didn't get them right on this chapter. Plus, I really don't want to delete it beacuse I'm scared of losing the reviews I got earlier. For a more brief info on how this fic works, use this intro chapter as your reference since it's more updated.

This NEW intro chapter was created Aug. 7... **For more details, check my profile!!**

Disclaimer: I own neither Naruto nor Blue's Clues…or anything prominent that I add to the story. In short, I own NOTHING!

A/N: I wrote the original a year ago. Unfortunately though, it was deleted. But, here is somewhat a better version of it. Hope it won't be deleted this time. Anyways, hope you guys have fun reading the next chapters. Don't forget to leave your wonderful reviews. Take sweet care everyone…

xxx

Mail Time with Itachi and Temari!

Intro Chapter: The 411…

Temari looked hard at herself in the mirror.

"A little more on the left" she said.

"Hai" said an older woman. And with that, she brushed Temari's cheek with some more blush on. "Is that better Lady Uchiha?"

"Perfect. But next time, just call me Temari"

"My apologies Lady Uchi-…I mean Temari-san"

"You can leave now…"

The blonde stared at herself once more. Her make up looked good, her hair was great (as usual), now all she needed to do was practice her lines one last time. Paper clutched in one hand, she mumbled incoherent words to herself, still focused on the mirror.

_knock, knock, knock…_

"Temi-chan, time for the shoot!"

"I'll be right out Kisame!"

xxx

Meanwhile, in his office, Itachi was oblivious to everything around him. Well, either that or he just didn't care. He sat comfortably in his mighty grand black leather chair, reading the morning paper, sipping coffee. So did Gaara who was sitting across him. They kept each other company the whole morning in deafening silence they referred to as peace.

"How is Sunagakure?" Itachi asked, starting a conversation.

"It's fine" replied Gaara, eyes still glued to a certain article in the paper. "How's Akatsuki?"

"It's fine"

And that ends their conversation…back to "peace".

xxx

"Why do I have to be the camera man?" whined Kankuro.

"Because I said so. Now hold that thing right!" ordered Temari.

"Can't I just be in the show?"

"No"

Kisame sneaked up on Kankuro from behind and whispered, "Hey Kankuro, I'll give you a hundred bucks if we get this show done…"

"Let's get this show on the road!", yelled the now enthusiastic Kankuro.

xxx

Outside the Uchiha Mansion…

The film started to roll as Kisame positioned himself beside a…mailbox?

"Make sure to get my good side" said the shark man.

Kankuro did as he was told, Kisame's money in his thoughts, "Gotcha"

"Alright. I'm ready!"

"And…action!"

"A pleasant day/night to all! This is Hoshikage Kisame, reporting live at the Uchiha Mansion. I, with great joy, bring you excellent news! From this day forward, ninjas…yes, that's YOU…from all over the world, will be able to make contact with the infamous Uchiha Itachi and his beloved Temari. How, you might ask? Here's our favourite sand kunoichi to give you the details… Mari-chan?"

"Cut! Great take Kisame"

"Really? Gee, thanks!" Kisame said, striking a pose. He still couldn't believe that he's now a big star. Soon, his name will be in lights. Every person will know him. He'll have his autograph taken, have photo ops and… "Holy fish sticks!" he yelled, snapping back to reality. "Hurry to the living room, man. It's time for Temi-chan's take!"

"You're paying me another hundred bucks, dude!", he yelled back, running as fast as he could.

"Yeah, yeah whatever! Just go before Temari kills both of us!"

In the Uchiha Living Room…

Kankuro ran to the living room, with the big camera in hand…eer, on shoulder. Temari impatiently waited for him. "What took you so damn long?!"

"Cut me some slack Mari. It's hard to run with this thing…"

"Just hurry up and film me!"

"Action!"

"Arigatou Kisame-kun. And hello fellow ninjas! Got questions? Comments? Needing advice on your love life, school, and other stuff? Well, you've come to the right place so look no further. Itachi and I are here to help. Also, if you would like to have a special guest (from Naruto) to come over and ask them a question or want to tell them something, feel free to do so. We love having visitors around…or at least I do. For info on how to contact us, I give you Mailbox, from Blue's Clues…Mailbox?"

"Cut!"

"Hurry back outside!"

Poor Kankuro sighed aloud and ran all the way back outside.Kisame's money will definitely be worth his hard work.

Back Outside…

"Kisame?"

"It's Mailbox' turn now"

"I will film an inanimate object?" asked Kankuro with an eyebrow raised. "Stop fooling around…"

"I'm not kidding Kankuro"

"Yeah right. As if I'm really gonna shoot a…" The puppet master could not believe his eyes. He was looking at a real, live mailbox.

"I'm ready for my close up!" it said cheerfully.

Kankuro looked at Kisame. The shock still etched on his face. That thing was not only alive, it can talk too? If it weren't for the very expensive camera he held, he would've fainted by now.

"You obviously don't watch Blue's Clues, don't ya?" remarked the shark.

From inside the mansion, Temari yelled, "Hurry up, will ya?!"

Slowly, Kankuro lifted the camera and zoomed in the mailbox. "Action…" he squeaked.

"Mail's here! Mail's here! To contact us, just send in your letters, emails, and such through your reviews. We just love getting fan mail! Easy, huh? Well, that's about it. Oh, and don't forget to watch Blue's Clues on Nick Jr. That's all for now!"

"Cut…" Kankuro whispered. But with his whole body seemingly frozen, Kisame sighed, picked up Temari's brother by his side with one arm, the camera on the other, and trotted back inside the house. He didn't want to keep the blonde waiting.

Uchiha Living Room…

"Woah, what happened to him?" Temari asked.

"Mailbox kinda freaked him out a bit" replied Kisame, positioning Kankuro for another shoot.

"Heh, figures… He loved Sesame's Street more than anything when we were little"

"Really? So, that explains his fascination of puppets." He laughed. "I loved Backyardigans…"

"Which explains your oh-so-cheerful personality, huh? I personally liked watching Dora and Diego…I didn't like that pathetic little monkey though."

"Who? Boots? Why not? He's a cute little critter."

"More like a big pain in a$$!"

"Dora the Explorer, huh? No wonder you like travelling…"

"Yeah, I guess so…"

"Hey, did Itachi have a favourite kiddy show?"

"No. When he was young, he never really watched TV…more like, his father didn't allow him to watch TV. He was always forced to train every single day. So much so that it eventually became a habit of his. Although I can't say he enjoys it. It's just that he's used to it, that's all…"

"Aww. Poor little guy. I guess that's why he's so anti-social and everything. I mean, nobody ever taught him to play, or share his candies, and stuff like that…"

"Yeah..."

The two took a minute and reflected on their little sharing, both feeling sorry for Itachi.

Kankuro, on the other hand, cracked from his trauma-like phase. "Uhm guys, don't we have a show to do?"

"Oh right" Temari and Kisame said in unison.

"Jinx! You owe me a soda!" quickly followed by Temari.

"Why me? Why always me?" Kisame mumbled to himself, walking away.

"Ready Mari?" asked Kankuro, who felt like a million yen, finally overcoming his "fear" of inanimate objects. That was fast, huh? He was already thinking of striking up a conversation with Mailbox after this "show" of theirs.

"Ready Kankuro..."

"Ok... Action!"

"Thanks Mailbox. So, what are you waiting for guys? Send in those reviews. Put smiles on our faces, and we'll put one on yours…I hope. For any suggestions and/or comments on this "show", you can put them in your reviews too. Your wonderful feedbacks are our inspiration to read your mail and answer you back faster. No flames though as we are only doing this to pass the time"

And suddenly, out of the blue, Itachi steps out from somewhere…who unknowingly was in the camera's view.

To cover for this, "Itachi, got something to say?" Temari asked him.

Kankuro focused the camera on the Uchiha. Itachi then stopped, turned around, and looked straight at the large thingy. He glared at it for a second or two (which made the fan girls watching the live show, all melt), turned to his wife giving his cold reply, "Hn", and continued to his destination… which the blonde presumed to be the kitchen, to get his all time favourite munchies…cookies!

"How enthusiastic of you…" she said under her breath.

Kankuro cleared his throat lightly. Temari heard this and continued, "Well, time to wrap things up! Back to you Kisame…"

"Cut! I'll be seeing you later Temi…" With that said, he ran outside.

Temari watched her brother leave and chuckled slightly, "Well, what do you know? The kid's got potential…"

Back Outside…

Kisame was sitting on the sidewalk, his thoughts keeping him busy. What those thoughts were, no one knew.

"Last take Kisame, you ready?"

"Ok…"

"And, action!"

"Thanks Temi. Ok ninjas, you've heard them. We'll be hearing from you guys soon. Remember to tune in to "Mail Time with Itachi and Temari" and send in those reviews. This is Hoshikage Kisame signing off."

"Cut. And that's a wrap!"

Temari, who was watching from a distance, called out to them "Hey boys, the afternoon snacks are ready!"

"Great! I'm starving…" said Kisame.

"Last one to the kitchen's a rotten egg!" yelled Kankuro, already running.

Kisame ran after him, "No fair, you got a head start!"

xxx

After his snack, the now stuffed puppet master went outside. As expected, Mailbox was there, casually waiting for the mail (a.k.a. your reviews) to arrive. Kankuro approached it.

He cleared his throat, "So, uhm…what's up?"

xxx

A/N: I had not intended to make it this long. It's just that so many ideas came into my mind and I just had to write them down and include them here. At least, you got a bonus treat of learning more about Itachi and the gang.

I hope you guys still understand the details of the "show" though…

With this "intro chapter" finally edited, I think some of the readers will now understand that this fic is more than answering "letters", there's a story in it too. Hope this little change made you more into the story.

Now, enough of my ramblings…review, review! Please and thank you…


	2. Just the Details

Summary: Questions? Comments? Advice? Itachi and Temari are here to answer them for you. With special participation from Mailbox of Blue's Clues!

Rating: Rated T for safety.

A/N: i wrote the original a year ago. unfortunately though, it was deleted. but have no fear, here is somewhat a better version of it. hope it won't be deleted this time. :( anyways, hope you guys have fun reading the next chapters. this chapter, if it can be called one, is the 411 on how this works.don't forget to leave your wonderful reviews. take sweet care everyone:))

xxx

Mail Time with Itachi and Temari!

Outside the Uchiha Mansion…

"A pleasant day/night to all! This is Hoshikage Kisame, reporting live at the Uchiha Mansion. I, with great joy, bring you excellent news! From this day forward, ninjas…yes, that's YOU…from all over the world, will be able to make contact with the infamous Uchiha Itachi and his beloved Temari. How, you might ask? Here's our favourite sand kunoichi to give you the details… Mari-chan?".

Inside the Uchiha Mansion (Living Room)…

"Arigatou Kisame-kun. And hello fellow ninjas! Got questions? Comments? Needing advice on your love life, school, and stuff? Well, you've come to the right place so look no further. Itachi and I are here to help. Also, if you would like to have a special guest to come over and ask them a question or want to tell them something, feel free to do so. We love having visitors around, or at least I do. For info on how to contact us, I give you Mailbox, from Blue's Clues…Mailbox?"

Back outside…

"Mail's here! Mail's here! To contact us, just send in your letters, emails, and such through your reviews. We just love getting fan mail! And by the way, please indicate if you want your pen name or any other information to be seen on screen. Well, that's about it. Oh, don't forget to watch Blue's Clues on Nick Jr. That's all for now!"

Uchiha Living Room…

"Thanks Mailbox. So, what are you waiting for guys? Send in those reviews. Put smiles on our faces, and we'll put one on yours…I hope. For any suggestions and comments on this "show", you can put them in your reviews too. Your wonderful feedbacks are our inspiration to read your reviews and answer you back faster. No flames though as we are only doing this to pass the time. Itachi, got something to say?"

"Hn."

"Well, time to wrap things up. Back to you Kisame."

Outside…

"Thanks Temi. Ok ninjas, you've heard them. We'll be hearing from you guys soon. This is Hoshikage Kisame signing off. Take care everyone!"

xxx

A/N: please leave a review everybody. :))


	3. Chapter One: What is This?

Mail Time with Itachi and Temari

Chapter One: What is This?

"Temari"

"Ugh."

"Temari"

"Mmmmm…Itachi-…kun…."

"Eew. Cut me some slack girl, it's me! Wake up."

"Five more….minutes……….mommy…"

"Mommy?! Now that's just wrong. Get up!"

"_zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz_………"

Sighing loudly, Kisame walked out of the masters' bedroom and headed for the kitchen. With a bucket in hand, he gathered as many ice as he could. Re-entering the room, he slowly approached the bed where the sand kunoichi laid fast asleep.

He felt bad for waking her up so early, but he had no choice. The cameras were already on, the staff and crew ever ready, and the donuts freshly baked…they were only waiting for her.

"Forgive me Temi-chan…" the shark man whispered. And with a deep breath, he poured the cubes of ice all over the poor blonde.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" she shrieked, jumping up and down the cozy bed. "Cold, cold!"

Getting the frozen substance off of her, she turned to him and yelled, "Damn you Kisame, what the hell was that for?!" Temari then hopped down the furniture, crossed her arms, and waited for his explanation.

"Sorry Mari." he said, scratching the back of hid head, "It's just that I couldn't wake you up so….you gave me no choice. And, and…" Suddenly, "Waaaaah!" he cried. "Please don't get mad Temari. They forced me to do it…"

"They?" she asked.

xxx

Meanwhile…

Hearing what seemed like his sister's screams… "Kankuro, did you hear something?" asked Gaara.

"No."

"Never mind"

xxx

The sand kunoichi's eyes followed the direction to where Kisame's shark-y finger was pointed. She stared in disbelief at what she saw…

People walked around like busy bees, cameras were set up, film scattered in every corner, and donuts in every flavour imaginable. It was only then Temari realized that the masters' bedroom was a lot bigger than she thought it was. It suddenly looked gigantic. Even with all the new stuff around, you can still move about freely.

She rubbed her eyes roughly to make sure she still wasn't dreaming. Blinking a few times, her vision cleared…yep, all was still there. They were all real.

Looking back at Kisame to give him a good spanking, he was already gone.

"Huh?" she wondered.

"Ready when you are Temari" a man said.

Following his voice, her eyes came across a man sitting on a chair which she assumed to be the "director". She gave him a somewhat befuddled look and left.

xxx

"What do you think of this little show Temari's having?" asked Kankuro.

"It's stupid" Gaara replied.

"Really? I think it's pretty cool. I hope I get a lot of fan mail…especially from the ladies. Hey, I might even become a celebrity!" the puppeteer said with excitement.

"I think you're stupid…" grunted the younger brother.

"Did you say something?"

"No"

Just then, Temari walked in. "Hey boys, have you seen Kisame?"

"No. But have you looked at yourself in the mirror?" Kankuro laughed.

"What?!"

"Uh-oh"

Now Temari was mad, really mad. And Kankuro was scared, really scared. She was already planning to beat him up with her fan. If there was one thing the sand kunoichi hated, it was insults. Her brother already running for his dear life, she yelled and ran after him, "Yeah you better run you jerk!" And the wild chase began.

Gaara, stared at his siblings in annoyance. "Pfft...kids…" he muttered.

xxx

At the Uchiha training grounds, Itachi stood from his resting spot. "Hn" He'd been hearing his wife's yells for quite some time now, but he couldn't make out what she was saying. She did have a bad temper after all. He guessed this was one of the reasons why she was always so…ferocious. Though, he really couldn't blame her. She was often pressured by the people around her ever since she was little. Plus, she had two little brothers to take care of. And they gave her a headache sometimes…especially Kankuro.

Then he heard Kankuro's voice, shouting for help. The sound of glasses being broken, furniture being thrown, and the whacking by Temari's fan soon followed. Another "argument", he guessed. Grunting and sighing, he brushed the dirt off his clothes and walked back to his mansion.

xxx

'Home sweet home', he thought.

It took him a minute or two to reflect on whether he really wanted to see what had happened. He knew everyone was alright, he was sure of it. But, his furniture, his house, may not be so good. After taking a deep breath, he turned the knob of his front door and prepared for the worst.

Yup, it looked pretty bad. Surely, you could imagine the "mess" they made. The Uchiha's left eye twitched ever so slightly at the chaos before him. Before he was able to utter a word though…

"Mail time! Mail time! Mail Time! Mail time!!"

'What the…'

In a puff of smoke, came Kisame with what looked like a mailbox. Itachi's eyes widened. And together, the shark-man and the supposed-to-be inanimate object sang aloud…

"Here's the mail, it never fails. It makes me wanna wag my tail. When it comes I wanna wail…MAIL!!"

Everyone's jaw dropped. They could not believe their eyes.

"What is this?" Itachi said in a raised tone, looking at them accusingly. It was actually more of a statement than a question.

Kisame, knowing all too well of how his partner could be when angered, disappeared almost instantly. He could be a real scared-y cat sometimes (so much for being a fish).

'Oh, so this is how the show goes' said a voice at the back of Temari's mind. She ignored it however when she saw the scary look on her husband's face. They usually treated each other as equal individuals…both strong-willed, tough, and powerful. But when the Uchiha gets mad, he's really really mad. He even frightened her sometimes…and she thought she was scared of no one. Guess she was wrong.

"And cut!" the director said. "That was a great take everyone."

And everyone just stared at him (the director).

xxx

After a good break…

Itachi calmed down somewhat after taking a break back at the training grounds. Deciding to head back home once more, he picked up his kunai and kept it inside his pants' front pocket.

It was beautiful day. The sun was bright, a few clouds scattered here and there, and birds singing and flying everywhere. And the temperature was just right…not too hot, and not too cold. Yes, the day was perfect! Too bad, he didn't enjoy it much. He didn't even take the time to stop and look at the beauty around him.

xxx

"Kisame"

"Yeah?"

"I think you forgot something…"

"Nope. My pants are zipped."

"No, not that you dum-dum!"

"What then?"

"You forgot to mention that our lives are featured on reality TV"

"Oh yeah. Guess I forgot about that. Hehe"

"Hahaha" came her sarcastic laugh. "Uhm, Kisame?"

"Yes Mari-chan?"

"I'm gonna kill you!!"

And Kisame ran for his life yet again.

xxx

Finally inside his mansion, Itachi was surprised to find it clean. Pleased, the Uchiha decided to head to bed for a short nap. He soon stopped in front of his to door, finding a big sack full of…letters?

"Hm?" he wondered.

Curiosity made him randomly select a letter, picked the sack, and hopped in bed to read the letter's contents. Head relaxed on fluffy pillows and body wrapped in his blanket, Itachi took his kunai and opened the article. His eyes narrowed slightly, curious more than ever…the letter was for him.

It read…

_Dear Itachi,_

_Why did you join Akatsuki?_

_Signed,_

_Anonymous_

'Hn.' he thought. Why did he join Akatsuki?

"To pass the time…" he said to himself. 'I guess'

xxx

Meanwhile, in a secret room…

"Hey, did you get that?" asked the director.

"Sure did, boss!" replied the cameraman.

"Great. Let's take five! But keep your eyes open…"

"Hai"

xxx

A/N: The show starts, and first letter answered! Don't forget to read and review, and send in your questions and stuff. Itachi, Temari, and the gang will be waiting. Bye for now.


	4. Chapter Two: Mushy Marriage

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. _sniff_ _sniff_...

A/N: I totally forgot about the disclaimer for the previous chapters...how silly of me! but it's there now. Hm. Just so you guys will stay updated, **check out my profile**. You can **make your suggestions through your reviews** which I will use as future reference. **I aim for your satisfaction** too you know...not just mine.

xxx

Mail Time With Itachi and Temari! 

Chapter Two: Mushy Marriage

Never in his life did he imagine he would get a letter from someone he did not know. It felt weird. He wasn't exactly sure how to react to this. But one thing was sure, he was more curious than ever. And so, the Uchiha took another letter from the sack. Surprisingly, it was for him yet again…

_Itachi, _

_Now that Temari is your wife, did you ever think that she would cheat on you with the other Akatsuki members? _

His eyes widened. Temari was never that kind of girl. How could somebody think that? But now that he thought about it, he did remember some of the guys referring to his wife as a "hot babe" or a "hot chick" or something like that the first time he brought Temari to their headquarters. He heard those especially from Deidara and HIdan. Until now actually, whenever the guys dropped by for a visit at the mansion, or when Temari stops by the Akatsuki Organization to see him, he'd still hear those remarks…which earned them a smack or two from either of the couple. The calling of the nicknames lessened but never stopped. The whole Akatsuki gang just found his wife attractive. Well, who could blame them? She's a gorgeous, feisty bombshell. If he had Deidara's personality, he'd probably be calling Temari the same names, if not more…

'But no…don't think that Itachi' he told himself mentally. HIS sand kunoichi would never do such a heinous act. 'No, no, no…' He trusted Temari a whole lot and knew she wouldn't do anything to break that trust. She wouldn't dare! Temari loves him, right? 'She loves me, she loves me…' The poor Uchiha continued arguing with himself until fatigued settled in, making him fall asleep. 'Temari loves me…' were his last thoughts.

xxx

It was already late afternoon and Temari decided to have a snack. Munching some Cheetos, she reached for her glass of coke, only to find it chip suddenly right before her eyes. "That's not a good sign…" she murmured, the cheesy snack still in her mouth. She really didn't believe in signs and omens, but that all changed the day Gaara was kidnapped years ago, and Kankuro poisoned. This time though, she did not sense her siblings being in danger. Instead, she had a strong feeling it was her husband…not really danger per se, she just felt that something was wrong.

Following her instincts, she went to their room finding the Uchiha asleep. And if one looked closely enough, you could see the slightly troubled look on his face. She also found the sack of letters to his side. 'He was reading the fan mail?' Carefully removing the paper clutched in his hand, she began reading it, thinking it was the source of Itachi's uneasiness.

"What?!" she said aloud, followed by a scoff.

"Hn?" The Uchiha awoke. "That's against the law you know…" he murmured. "reading other people's mail"

She ignored his remark. Looking somewhat hurt, she asked, "Did this ever cross your mind?"

He sat up, giving her the most concerned look he could muster, "Never"

And she stared back with puppy dog eyes, "Really?"

"Hn"

"Aww…" The blonde sat down and hugged him. "I love you!"

"I know. I know…"

Inside Itachi's demented mind, he sighed in relief.

xxx

"Here's the mail, it never fails…"

"Stop singing!"

"It makes me wanna wag my tail…"

"Stop! Stop!!"

"When it comes I wanna wail…"

"Stop, I'm begging you…"

"Mai-… what was that?"

"Thank Kamisama…"

"Huh?"

"I said stop"

"No, the other thing you said"

"I'm begging you?"

"Wow. The great Kazekage is begging now?"

"You were hurting my ears with your so-called singing…"

"Can't help it. It has a catchy tune."

"You're weird…"

"What was that bro?"

"Nothing"

xxx

"You think this show's going to be a hit, Mailbox?"

"I hope it will, Kisame… As long as the fans send in their reviews, I don't see a problem"

"Hm. Are there any letters for me?"

"Nope"

"………"

"………"

"So, what's it like being a mailbox?"

xxx

"Those are the fan mail?"

"Hn"

"Ok, let me read one…"

_Temari, _

_Why did you marry an S-Rank criminal? _

"Hm. Why did I marry you?"

Itachi just stared at her. But deep down, he wanted to ask her that very same question long ago. How could someone love a criminal like him? And he was not just an ordinary criminal…he's arrogant, selfish, and a cold-hearted bastard one at that. He did very mean things to her back then. He tortured her, took participation at killing her little brother, battled her friends, and he tortured her, and tortured her some more. How she was able to forgive him and actually marry him, he'll never know.

(In the background, you could Temari's incessant incoherent mumbling…)

Unlike those soap operas Kisame usually watched on TV, Temari was never that girl desperate for love. She was never the type who would run after a guy. Or pleaded to her loved one, the one would do anything, just to make the guy stay. And…you get the picture. If he were to pretend to "leave" her for good, she won't act hysterical. Actually, she'll even let him go without hesitation…something that Itachi was afraid of. Yes, you read that right! He was afraid to lose her. Scared of that very day when his wife decides to live her own life in her own terms, to live freely without having extra "luggage" except for her brothers.

Yet, despite this fear, the Uchiha knew Temari loved him. He just knew it. And he loved her too…although he didn't say it as much as she did or as much as he should.

Having Temari, he learned the true meaning of trust. It was only then that he started to depend on someone. And most importantly, love someone. His reliance on her was great. She meant everything to him. To Itachi, their love's like an oreo cookie. One cannot exist without the other…him as the cookie, and her as the tasty cream.

The Uchiha then thought harder, only faintly hearing his kunoichi's voice…

"I don't know…I just do" Temari said to herself.

Remembering the oreo commercial, one cannot also forget the milk. Milk made the cookie taste better. In their marriage, milk was most likely the intercourse...in which the very thought made him smirk. 'It definitely tastes better…' he thought.

"Despite what we've been through, all the bad times…I'm still madly in love with you" She said to him.

Though he looked as impassive as ever, "And I you…" And he really meant it.

xxx

"Sniff, sniff…"

"Hey, you alright boss?"

"Yeah. It's just that, they're so good together. Sniff… You got that take?"

"Hai"

"Good. You know, this would make a good movie…"

"Uhm. Boss?"

"Sniff… Yeah? Sniff, sniff…"

"We're outta donuts…"

"Whaaaaaaat?!"

xxx

The night sky was filled with twinkle-y stars, accentuated with a beautiful full moon. The couple enjoyed the romantic atmosphere the evening brought as they lay on the grass.

They lied on their sides, gazing deeply into each other's eyes. Temari was wrapped protectively in her husband's arms while Itachi had his cheek cupped by her right hand, enjoying the way she caressed his face with her thumb, and had the other placed on his neck from the passionate kiss that just parted moments ago.

They were just about to lean in for another kiss, until…

"Temi-chan…"

The two, faces only a few centimetres apart, sighed and looked in unison to find Gaara in his jammies, clutching an old stuffed bunny in his arm. "I'm sleepy. Could you tuck me in?" with a pause, he then added, "Please…"

"Alright" she smiled. Even at the age of 17, he still looked so cute and adorable. He was simply irresistible!

"Excuse me" she whispered to Itachi as she got up. "C'mon Gaar-Gaar". Placing an arm around his shoulder, the siblings walked away, leaving the Uchiha to himself.

He sighed, "Little brothers…"

xxx

In Gaara's bedroom…

"There you go. Comfy?"

"Yes, Mari-chan. Thank you…"

"Ok. Sleep we-"

"Wait!"

"What's wrong?"

"You forgot to kiss me good night…"

"Oh, I'm sorry Gaar-Gaar" with that she kissed his forehead "Good night"

"Good night Mari…"

Just outside Gaara's door, Temari found the sack of letters. 'How did this get here?' She was really tired from the day's work, but answering one more letter wouldn't hurt.

_Temari, _

_Is Gaara afraid of water? Because he does carry around lots of sand… _

Temari looked back at the closed door behind her and thought for awhile. Looking around, she found a supposed-to-be "hidden" camera somewhere at the ceiling. She waved at it, "No, Gaara's not afraid of water. He just likes the sand. Actually, he loves it! He's not particularly fond of swimming though…" She stared back at the letter as if it were alive, asking, "Does that answer your question?"

"Even if he hated the sand, he wouldn't have much of a choice. The sand follows him, and that's where he gets his attacks. Plus, we live in Suna too. He's still Kazekage after all" she added.

Flashing back to their childhood days, she giggled. She could remember a young Gaara playing in a sand box at Itachi's old house. And now that she thought about it, she really missed that house. She and her brothers spent their most memorable childhood memories there with the Uchiha even if it was a short while. She was thankful for that very day Itachi asked her to run away with him.

But, she loved the mansion they had now just as much.

Exhausted, she retreated back to the room she and Itachi shared. Even after being married for 2 years now, sometimes she still found it hard to believe that she and the man she loved for years are together. Many thought it was impossible, she did too, but look at them now…

She shook her head, dismissing her thoughts for now. Entering the room, she was surprised to find Itachi already there, fast asleep. Temari snuggled beside him and closed her eyes, only to reopen them hearing, "What took you so long?" She should've known…he was only resting. Not bothering to reply, she snuggled closer, her arm resting on his waist.

"I was waiting for you…" he continued.

xxx

A/N: I apologize for any errors you may find in my fics. Corrections from you guys are much appreciated. I also would like to apologize for the mushiness of this chapter. Well, the chapter title warned you, didn't it? And special thanks to SkyBell. I, I mean Temari answered one of her questions here (the other question's for the next chapter). **Don't forget to check out my profile**, and tell me what you think.

**Now...review, review please!**


	5. Chapter Three: Family Matters

A/N: Hello! I apologize for the super late upload. I have been so busy with school and stuff... But, here it is! I give you, chapter three! Let's all do a happy dance, read and then review. Thank you for sticking with me and I hope you continue to do so. Again, I apologize for any errors and such...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...

A/N: Please enjoy! Read and review please...

xxx

Mail Time with Itachi and Temari!

Chapter Three: Family Matters

"_Foolish little brother, if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me, and survive in an unsightly way. Run, run and cling to life."_

_The look in Sasuke's eyes was priceless. The poor boy was terrified. Heeding his brother's words, he ran far. To where, he did not know. He let his feet take him to wherever. The only thing that mattered to him now was running as far away as he could, away from Itachi._

_Itachi, meanwhile just stared at his little brother's retreating form. A lone tear dropped from his cheek, hidden from anyone's view._

He blinked several times. He was awake. Itachi sat up, his hands then reached up, hiding his face. He sighed aloud. Years have passed and yet he was haunted by such "nightmares"…the cruel memories of his past.

Temari at that moment woke up, wanting to pee. She stopped suddenly, realizing she had no clothes on. 'What the hell happened last night?' she thought. She really couldn't remember. And now, she was surprised to see Itachi awake, his face hidden from her view. She knew that gesture. He probably had one of those dreams again, she guessed. 'Honestly, it's been years and he still hasn't gotten over the past'. She had done so a long time ago. But of course, it left her scarred for life.

"Another nightmare?" she asked.

"Hn"

"Are you…alright?"

"Hn"

"You sure?"

"…….."

She knew it was pointless to question him further, but…maybe, just maybe, a little something might work. A little something that she never tried attempting to calm the Uchiha down…

"Hmmm… Want a hug?"

Okay, that sounded silly…even for her. But it worked effectively on Kankuro and Gaara when they were down. It was they who would ask for it sometimes, with or without problems. Now she wanted to see if it would work on Itachi… Besides, she heard from some lady on TV, that a person needed at least 24 hugs a day or something like that. It was a psychological matter. And Itachi needed it more than anything right now.

It took him a long while to respond but… "Yes…"

Well, what do you know…it worked!

The blonde hugged him from behind, her arms wrapped around his waist tightly, and her head rested comfortably on his bare back for what seemed like five whole minutes. Itachi eventually turned to her and returned the sweet embrace. But after another minute or two, things started to get a little awkward for her…

"Uhm, Itachi?"

"Hn?"

"You can let go now…" she said uncomfortably.

He did as he was told. But her "request" left a somewhat worried look on his face. 'Did I do something wrong?'

Released from his hold, she sighed in relief. "Gotta go…badly!" she said as she dashed for the bathroom, snatching the blanket that covered them. And Itachi just stared back her, his whole body exposed. He sighed once more, 'Now, where did she throw those boxers?'

xxx

"I wasn't expecting to see that, boss!"

"What did you expect? We're filming a married couple here!"

"Well, yeah. But, should we consider changing the ratings?"

"Sniff sniff…"

"Hey boss, something wrong?"

The director cried louder. "Waaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

"Hey now boss, we don't have to change the rating, you know. We could just edit some stuff. Just don't cry…"

"It's not that…"

"What's wrong then? I stocked up donuts too. We have Go Nuts Donuts, Krispy Kreme, you name it. There's a lot more at the back…"

"It's not the donuts…"

"Then what is it?"

"Actually Peter, I have a confession to make…I'm gay!"

Peter started to break down as well. "I'm gay too, boss!"

And together, they cried, and cried, and cried…

xxx

The Uchiha managed to find his boxers. But with him fully awake, thanks to his dream, he had a hard time going back to sleep. He stared at the clock on his side table, which read 3:47 am…too early for a "decent" person like him to be up. With Temari gone, out to get a glass of water, he was bored out of his mind. When you get used to sleeping next to someone, it was quite hard to sleep alone, especially when you're married. As he waited for his wife, Itachi took out a letter to pass the short time…

_Itachi,_

_Why didn't you kill Sasuke?_

'Great…' That was just what he needed…a letter to remind him of the dream he just had! The Uchiha, sighed heavily in annoyance, and Temari, as if on cue, re-entered the room with her glass of water.

"What's up?" she asked, seeing the irritated look on her husband's face.

He did not reply, but threw the piece of paper at her, knowing she would catch it. The blonde read the letter and quickly understood why he was annoyed.

She knew what she was about to ask would infuriate him more, but…"Uhm... Why didn't you kill Sasuke?"

He gave up. It was hopeless to keep it hush-hush from everyone. Secrets are all revealed sooner or later after all.

"I found it pointless to kill him…"

'Pfft. Yeah right…' she thought. "Is that really it?"

"He's a worthy Uchiha…"

"And..?"

"That's it"

"Oh come on. There has to be another reason!"

After a long, long pause…

"I…-o-e Sasu…ke" he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"I…-o-e Sasuke…"

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you…"

"I love Sasuke!" he exclaimed. "So, there!"

Temari smiled. It was no ordinary smile, mind you. Her grin reached from ear to ear. She looked like a little girl who just got her favourite lolly. Just imagine the blonde's joy. She would sleep having that wondrous beam on her oh-so-happy face. But, wait! If Itachi really did love his little brother, he sure had a funny way of showing it, huh? Her questioning won't stop there she guessed. It was time to pry on Itachi's past a "little" more.

"Uhm, Itachi?"

"What?"

"You kinda have a funny way of showing it…"

"No, I don't"

"Uhh…yes, you do…"

"No, I don't"

"Yes, you do…"

"….."

"….."

'This is obviously getting us nowhere', she thought. Her little interrogation would have to be continued some other time.

"Here," she suddenly placed the large sack on his lap, "answer 'em"

"Huh?"

"I'm bored so answer them… I want to actually SEE and HEAR you answer them…"

"You don't think I answer them?"

"I do… I just want to bear witness to it, that's all…"

"Fine…" he sighed and grabbed a letter.

_Itachi,_

_Why do you have those weird little lines on your face?_

Temari laughed. She found the question hilarious. However, this annoyed the Uchiha.

"I got it from my father, okay?!"

"I know, I know…" she replied, trying to suppress her giggles.

Itachi decided to read another letter, hoping it would shut her up…

_Itachi,_

_Does Sasuke know that you're married now? If he doesn't, how are you going to tell him? If he does, does he still want to kill you with the risk of having his sister-in-law coming after him?_

The couple was in complete silence. They had completely forgotten this matter.

"Sasuke…" he whispered.

"This goes on your list, Itachi…" said Temari, scribbling on a long long sheet of paper. _The list_ was Itachi's record of things he needed to do, which of course contained A LOT considering his situation.

"I know. I know…"

There was absolutely no way of telling Sasuke about the matter without risking someone getting hurt; and if they do tell him, he would certainly not take it very well. Itachi would be putting his wife's life on the line if the younger Uchiha found out.

He sighed.

"What's on your mind?"

He held her hand and squeezed it. "I'll figure something out…" he told her, his onyx eyes locked with her teal ones. "I promise…"

Temari, although looked pretty calm on the situation, was actually quite worried, scared even. Her childhood dream of having a "happily ever after" was still so far from her grasp. Heck, could she even take hold of it? Does she deserve it? These thoughts lingered in her head. She closed her eyes, fearing the tears that threatened to spill. Whatever could she do to make their lives easy and normal?

"I love you…" she suddenly heard him say. She looked at him, tears already rolling down her cheeks. 'He knew…' she thought. He always saw through her.

Deciding to break the drama, she quickly wiped her tears with the back of her hand and grabbed a letter. Temari was not a melodramatic person. She always disliked Kisame's soap operas, often resulting in a fight between the two. She was not like Itachi who sulks all day long. She preferred action than drama.

"Oh look, it's a letter for both of us" she said cheerfully, acting as if nothing had happened. Itachi, knowing very well of the act she was trying to pull, settled to just letting it be and played along.

"What does it say?" he asked, pretending to be interested.

_Itachi and Temari,_

_Do you think that you would ever have kids?_

Again, another moment of silence engaged. These letters really knock them off their guards. Temari was just about to ignore it and grab another letter when Itachi unexpectedly broke the ice…

"Well…let's have one right now!"

"Wha--"

She didn't get the chance to finish what she was saying as he already "pounced" on her like she was some prey of his. She was surprised at his sudden excitement. He ravaged her like there was no tomorrow…

After what seemed like an eternity…

The two love birds were asleep, or so one would think. Temari watched her husband sleep. He was so cute. He looked like a little boy…so peaceful, so angelic. No one would think that he was some criminal.

"Itachi…" she whispered his name, tears welling up her eyes once more. She was terribly afraid of what the future had in store for her family. "…as long as I have you…" She couldn't hold it in much longer and burst into tears, snuggling closer to his bare chest.

"…as long as I have you…I will be strong…"

xxx

A/N: Well? What do you think? I've thought long and hard on this chapter. Please read and review...

Spoilers: Next chapter contains "the list" and some random questions for the gang. But it's really all about Itachi's "list"...


	6. Chapter Four: The List and Blues

**AN**: Hey... I'm alive!! First of all, I apologize for leaving so long. I feel so ashamed for so many reasons. I do hope that Mail Time's readers have not forgotten about this story, nevermind me. Please do check my profile if you have the time. My full apology's written there. I know this won't make up for the loss I've done, but in case you haven't noticed, I made this chapter extra long and answered as many questions as I could.

I will not delay any longer, as much as I would like to ramble... Enjoy Chapter Four!

* * *

Mail Time with Itachi and Temari!

Chapter Four: The List and Blues

It was a new day. A fresh start for everyone. Well… maybe not everyone. Itachi was yet again in the training grounds, all by his lonesome, still hung up on the past. On his hand was a list, a really, really long list. One would be surprised on how long the piece of paper was. He guessed it was about a foot long. Or was it? He could not tell anymore for it seemed to stretch on and on. What made it more bizarre was that it seemed to grow longer each time Temari wrote something on it. It had him puzzled. He swore it was only a few inches long the first time he had it. 'A mystery…' he sighed.

Ten years ago… or was it eleven? Twelve? He honestly could not remember when he started the damn list. And to think that it was still with him after all these years made him feel pathetic. He had accomplished hundreds upon hundreds of missions, many of which were S-ranked, and yet… He clutched the list tighter. The things to be done on the list were by far harder than any mission he has faced. Would he be even able to carry them all out before his time came? He sure hoped so.

"Sasuke…", his voice barely a whisper. He was Itachi's top priority. If he was not capable of fulfilling every task on said paper then, at the very least, he would absolutely make certain that all things regarding his little brother would be done. The wind was picking up and his bangs brushed over his eyes as he shook his head. Time was his greatest enemy. And, dare he admit, an extremely tough one, if not the toughest of them all. For once in his whole life as a ninja, the thought of actually losing crossed his mind.

Another glance at the paper's contents was all it took to make his shoulders sag from the position he was in. He sat under an apple tree, shading himself from what little sunlight there was. The day's beauty meant nothing to him. All he cared about now was the list in hand.

1. Sasuke

Under Sasuke's name lay a number of things he needed to do and say to him, written in perfect detail. Among these were telling him the truth about their past and apologizing, the latest being his relationship with Temari, but that was the least important of what he needed to know.

He could not be any more depressed than he already was, and was desperate for a distraction. Training was of little help to him for it only brought back memories of the younger Uchiha.

It was a good thing though that the list was not the only article he took with him when he left the house. On his side was the sack of letters, partially lying on his lap. He randomly chose a letter, silently praying that it would take his mind off of Sasuke.

_Itachi,_

_Why do you like Temari?_

'Thank goodness…' He let out a breath he did not realize he had been holding. Anything, especially of his wife, was a welcoming thought.

A lone camera was attached to a tree just a few feet across from him. Its wires were entangled to a branch that went all the way to the floor connected to numerous extensions that he guessed lead back home. It was funny, really. The crew did a lame job, a feeble attempt at covering it up with leaves and patches of grass. A kid would have done better. He looked straight at it, aware of its annoying presence the whole time. It zoomed in on him, and he tilted his head a bit. Cameras were such strange objects. They seemed to belong to technology that did not exist in their time or place. How could they be here? And how did those outlandish men running around his turf get their hands on such devices? 'Another mystery…' he thought. One of these days, he will take one of those thingamajigs and have a better look at it.

He eyed the letter once more. Then back to the camera. He supposed it wanted a verbal answer, but he was hesitant. Talking to inanimate objects was not normal. That must have been what Kankuro first felt about Mailbox. But Mailbox was most certainly not inanimate. The thing moved of its free will and acted as any human would. Unfortunately for the ninja, this show was Temari and Kisame's idea, and he was stupid enough to go along with it. And at that moment, it hit him. Would anyone find out if he answered the letters or not? Surely the director was not as dim-witted as he appeared to be to tell Temari, right? But then again, she reminded him overtime that, believe it or not, he had fans. How is it that these people know about him when his affiliations, not to mention his very being, were confidential information?

'Kisame…' The thought of the shark man was so distasteful at that very moment that he forced himself not to cringe. 'If that rotten fish had anything to do with this…'

The letter. It sat on his lap amongst the others, patiently waiting. He pondered a bit longer before answering.

xxXxx

Temari looked over at the scene below and she grinned at the sight. Mailbox swayed along with the wind and seemed to be humming his theme song, while Kisame splashed about in an inflatable pool, floaters and all. It was moments like these that she felt like she lived a normal life. But that feeling was always short-lived. Her life, even from the very beginning, was anything but normal. And she just had to make matters worse for her the day she bumped into Itachi in the dango shop back at Konoha.

'Damn Itachi and his good looks' she mentally cursed, although smiling to herself. And damn her for falling for his charms.

She must have zoned out for quite awhile for the next thing she saw was close-up of a very happy face – Mailbox' face to be exact. It peered at her with such glee. Needless to say, she was a bit shocked. Who would not be?

"Woah!" she lost her footing and tried to regain balance, grabbing Mailbox' flag in the process. This, however, resulted to its face, err… lid to open and spill over some letters on Temari who now sat on the cold floor.

"Mailbox…" she whined. How embarrassing. Normally, she would not have minded as much but a zooming sound behind reminded her that the whole world was watching her every move now.

She suddenly remembered Itachi's list…

4. Get a new (real) mailbox

"I'm sorry Temari. I didn't mean to scare you…" He offered himself to her as support as she stood on shaky legs. "I just came here to tell you that…"

_Mail Time, Mail Time, Mail Time, Mail Time!!!_

"Here we go again" she grumbled.

In a puff of smoke, Kisame was beside her at that instant. He was still wearing his beach shorts as he sang along with Mailbox. Together, they did a happy dance and Temari was pushed in the background, staring at the odd pair.

_Here's the mail, it never fails_

She sweat dropped.

_It makes me wanna wag my tail_

And Kisame was shaking his booty.

_When it comes I wanna wail…_

'Here it comes…' she readily covered her ears.

_MAIL!!!_

"Mail's here, mail's here!" Mailbox chirped. Seriously, where does he get all that energy?

"Great…" she replied, sarcasm dripping from every letter of the word. The sand kunoichi grabbed one of the letters that had fallen on the floor and read aloud…

_Temari,_

_Why do you like Itachi?_

"Hm. This is gonna take awhile" she mused.

xxXxx

The singing, the music, the laughter… he heard them all. Ever since they started the show, Gaara never had a moment of peace. It was always so noisy that it irked him to no end. How can Itachi stand all this? He would rather go to boring meetings any day than endure the all racket and hullabaloo going around. The Kazekage was seriously thinking of moving out for good. And he was not going to change his mind, even if Temari got down on her knees and begged.

He actually tried leaving before, once or twice, but his blasted sister convinced him to stay with those puppy dog eyes of hers, those teal round orbs shining ever so brightly. How could he refuse such a face? How could anyone? Even the great Itachi had fallen prey to its spell. Temari had more powers than she let on, it seemed. But Gaara would not make the same mistake twice, or in this case, thrice. No longer will he be hypnotized by those hues.

Back in his quarters, he packed his belongings, taking only the important stuff. He was about to leave and took one last look at his room… On his bed sat a stuffed bunny. Petting it with such care, he stared at it lovingly.

"Of course I haven't forgotten about you, Mr. Cuddles…" he cooed in his low, gruff voice.

Just then, Temari came in, the letter still in her hand. She stared at him, the duffel bag at his feet, Mr. Cuddles, and back to Gaara. "You're leaving?" She did not seem bothered in the least. The younger sibling thought whether it was a good or a bad thing.

"Yes" he said as a matter-of-factly.

"I see…" she looked at her feet and had her hands clasped behind her back. "I guess you've made your mind then" She headed towards his bed. "And there's nothing I can do to stop you?" she glanced his way before sitting, staring once more at her feet. The kunoichi made it seem like her sandals were the most interesting thing in the world at that moment. Gaara had to stop himself from looking at it as well.

"Yes" he said again.

"But I…" she pouted.

'Oh no…' Gaara mentally guarded himself at what he was about to see next.

"Gaar-Gaar, I…" And there it was, Temari's puppy dog eyes. So blue. So innocent. So sincere. He was sure his mouth was slightly agape in that trance. Nothing could get as genuine as that. Her eyes were watery too, he noticed, adding to its "oh-pity-me-Gaara" effect.

The seventeen year old basically looked calm on the outside, with the exception of his little jaw drop. But inside, he was having a mental struggle. He was starting to hear voices, telling him what to do…

'No... Don't give in to the cuteness!'

'Come now, stay. Mr. Cuddles would want that too, yes?'

And the voices went on and on…

xxXxx

"I… like Temari because…"

"Yo, Itachi"

'What now?' Itachi was just about to answer the letter when Kisame interrupted. He was so focused on his reply that he failed to notice the shark's presence beforehand.

"I'm not swimming with you, if that's what you wanted to ask" The man was still in his swimming trunks for crying out loud. He was dripping all over Itachi's shirt too… wait! When did he get that close?

Kisame apparently had not heard his partner, given his expression which was one of slight confusion and of deep thought.

"Have you ever wondered if you were meant to do something else?" Well that was totally out of the blue. He sure was fond of blue, was he not?

"There was this letter for me…" he continued, "…asking why I was the one with Mailbox singing and stuff, and… it got me thinking"

Itachi stood. Kisame hovering over him gave him bad vibes. Over the years, he learned to trust those feelings.

His partner went on, "Maybe… having this show was a sign, a calling of some sort."

"What are you rambling about, Kisame?" The Uchiha was getting annoyed.

"I'm just saying that perhaps, conceivably, perchance, hypothetically… I could be a celebrity! I mean, I was obviously chosen to sing with Mailbox because I had so much talent."

'Freak'

"And no offense 'Tachi-kun, you may have got the looks but that's just it, dude. _I_, on the other hand, got the looks, the brains, AND the talent! What more could people want?"

'Psycho'

"I could see it now… the fame, the fortune! The women. I'm gonna have 'em all! Heh." He hesitated after seeing Itachi's brow rise. Poor dear must be jealous. He felt sorry for his friend. He just was not as gifted as he, Kisame Hoshikage, was. "But doncha worry, Itachi, old pal, we'll still be BFFs! And I promise to mention your name at every speech I make" he patted the other's shoulder and grinned. Itachi's silence meant positive. 'BFFs?' Silence meant yes, right?

"Right. I knew you'd understand…" he gave Itachi's shoulder one more pat before he left, his ramblings never ceased as he walked away.

'He finally lost it' was his notion. All the fish wanted was a little love and affection, he could understand that, he guessed. But sometimes, the Uchiha considered the possibility of his friend being more than mental and delusional than he let on. Needless to say, he was worried. If that chunk of blue became a threat to his family, he would personally deal with him himself, friendship aside.

And that was the very reason why his so-called partner was on the list…

10. Help Kisame seek medical treatment

Another problem that needed to be dealt with was Akatsuki. The organization would be difficult to be rid off. It is not as if he could just pack his things and leave. He had been there and did just that. As expected, he failed… more than once.

He knew the risks of joining the infamous group, but he had his reasons. He was forced to adhere, yet he also came of his own will. It was 50:50, really. Akatsuki had its benefits, and he had used them to his own advantage. In the situation he was in, he had to play his cards well. And this one card of his was a double-edged sword. It had and will continue to play a big role in the events that have yet to come. It was not just some pest like most believed it to be; no… it was so much more than that. Everyone will soon realize that the hard way.

40. Cut off ties with Akatsuki

43. Eliminate Akatsuki

'Temari…' Itachi had tried his best not to get involved with anyone. As low as his reasoning sounded, he was still a man after all. But Temari… she was special. He could have had any girl he wanted then and now, which he did, but it was always this blonde, his Temari, that remained in his mind and heart. He hated himself for dragging her into all of this. And he hated her for coming along. There would be hate and chaos among other things. At the end of it all, she would be alone.

It was his fault. But she and Sasuke will be the one to suffer for it the most.

And kids? Never. He did not want more to endure the gravity of his crimes. 'Let's have one right now' he remembered saying many nights before, and even before that. He never meant it. It was always half-hearted. She knew, he knew she did. He was always careful when it came to having sex with her. She noticed, no doubt. Temari was quite observant, even when he tried to avert her attention. He did not want her to get hurt. But hell, was this not exactly what he was doing now?

She wanted to be a mother. She wanted to be one ever since she was a little girl. And she would be great, no uncertainty there. He, on the other hand, had misgivings. He would not know where to start. He had no example to follow for Fugaku was not exactly the fatherly type. But Temari would have none of it. She constantly assured him that he would do just fine. That was not the case, however. And they knew it.

"Stubborn girl" he mouthed. He had pushed her away so many times that he lost count. The sand ninja was so hard-headed that he was forced to take his level of torturing up a notch. What started as verbal abuse turned into emotional distraught, and then later on, physical assaults… she stood after each fall and, surprisingly, loved him all the more. He could not fathom her loyalty. She was either the brave or downright foolish. Although, a part of him thanked the heavens, if there were such a thing, that she stayed.

He remembered the letter, and smiled slightly. He was answering the letter already in his head, he realized. Not wanting to delay his task further, he turned to the camera yet again…

"Temari is…" he started.

"Dude!" came Kisame's voice. Every fiber of Konoha's former ninja shook from surprise when he saw the shark's face just inches away from his own. It was a good thing he managed to keep his emotions intact, but his eyes widened a fraction.

"I thought you left" he said, not quite as dark as he originally intended it to sound.

"That was so thirty minutes ago, man. Lunch is ready!"

Thirty minutes? Lunch? Had he really been out that long? He gathered his things, pocketed the list and letter, and began the short trek back home with Kisame.

"So, what's that letter about?"

xxXxx

He fell for it.

He prepared himself for the worst and yet, he fell for it. He despised himself and the teal-eyed temptress of a sister all the more. But, aggravatingly, he could not bring himself to hurt her.

8. Find a cure or a way to defend oneself against Temari's puppy dog eyes

And now, she was squeezing the life out of him in the bear hug he was trapped in. Gaara was starting to gasp for air. Did she even hear it? No. He was sure of that when he felt his arms go limp. That moment, he decided that getting the Shukaku out of him was better and far less painful than Temari's bear hugs.

The door to his room opened, and in came Kankuro who was certainly shocked to see what his two siblings were doing, or more accurately put, what Temari was doing to Gaara. The youngest thought that he was saved, but a second later proved him wrong as Kankuro wrapped his arms around them as well, thus tightening the embrace and Gaara's air supply.

"Family!" Kankuro said, his grip unyielding.

"Air…" Gaara gasped, his knees already giving out on him. He was about to lose consciousness when the hug finally came to an end. After that he found himself on the floor, apparently collapsing from exhaustion.

"Well, that was nice…" The puppet master sighed in contentment as he lounged on Gaara's bed with Temari. They failed to notice their brother's struggle as he got up moments later.

"I don't know what Itachi-sama sees in you!" he spat weakly. Crossing his arms, he glared at her at an attempt to look mad. And she just stared back, crossed her legs and blinked cutely several times.

"Why, what's not to like about me?" she asked as sweetly as she could muster.

'Look away!' his mind commanded quickly, and he did just that, turning his back on her.

"Hmph" he really could not say anything else. She was right on the money. Temari was a man's dream come true. She broke hearts left and right, melted Shikamaru's and thawed Itachi's cold one. However, being her brother, he knew things. Many things about Temari that only he and Kankuro knew. If he were to enumerate some now, he could make a comeback but… would he live to see another day? He died once. He doubted he will be lucky to be revived a second time. Silence was the best option.

"Yo Temi-chan, what did you see in Itachi-san?" Kankuro asked, suddenly dawning on him. "I mean, yeah, he's cool… and we did have a lot of fun with him back in the day. But, didn't he, like, hurt you and stuff? I still couldn't forgive him for that, even if you already have…"

20. Let the world know of ItachixTemari

"Well…" she started. Gaara sat on the couch and listened, the same question was on the back of his mind for quite awhile now but he never really bothered on asking nor had he the time to.

Meanwhile, on their way back to the mansion, Kisame asked Itachi the same question…

xxXxx

Mailbox was outside, waiting for more mail to come like every good mailbox should. The sound of crickets chirping in the background was imminent in the silence, despite the sun still brightly shining.

xxXxx

"He's charming…"

"She's… cute"

"His eyes"

"Her smile"

"That hair…"

"Those puppy dog eyes…"

"His confidence"

"Her stubbornness"

"His intelligence"

"Her positive outlook"

"His strength"

"Her boldness"

And they went on and on… It was one of those rare occasions when Itachi felt a bit talkative, and Kisame was more than happy to listen. Kankuro, on the other hand, fell asleep sometime in the middle of it all and snored, while Gaara was half reading, half listening to his sister who was lost in her little speech.

xxXxx

Lunchtime.

All of them were gathered at the large dining table, Itachi and Temari sat across from each other. She seemed to blush when he looked at her which she found that he seemed to do a lot. Neither of them knew what had transpired in their time apart.

"Stop staring…" she felt like school girl with a crush. That so ruined her image.

"Why?" Itachi knew she was uncomfortable under his gaze, in a good way. At this rate she was probably falling in love all over again. Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he smirked. And Temari wanted to melt right there and then.

"Just stop" The bastard knew she could not resist those smirks of his. Then again, who could not? The camera on the dining hall caught it for sure. His fan girls were most likely goo by now.

Kankuro wanted to throw up. "Alright you love birds. That's enough "lovie-dovie" for one day…" 'Or two' he thought, his disgust obvious.

"I've got some mail here. Why don't we answer 'em while we eat?" Kisame suggested, wanting nothing more than change topics. He wanted to throw up as well. But his cooking was too good for that.

Gaara silently agreed as he was the first to take a letter…

_Gaara,_

_Do you still have insomnia?_

"No" he answered, and then threw the letter away.

"Don't you think they need an explanation, Gaar-Gaar?" the shark-man asked.

"No" he said again, eating his food. "And don't call me Gaar-Gaar" he added. He did not need to explain himself to anyone. As long as he answered it, Temari cannot hold anything against him. He will keep them brief, one question-one answer. Take it or leave it. His sister, for the sake of his fans, had no choice but to accept the deal.

"No…" she explained. "…the moment Akatsuki had taken Shukaku out of him, he was back to his old normal self" She left it at that. The topic always made everyone uneasy, especially for the fact that Itachi and Kisame partook in extracting the demon from the Kazekage, leading to Gaara's death. Itachi had seemingly done so without remorse which resulted into a big dispute with everyone. It was an issue that best be forgotten.

5. Apologize and explain to Gaara

"Let's read another letter, shall we?" Kankuro desperately wanted out of this. He did not want to think about that as much as the others did.

_Kankuro,_

_Why do you wear makeup?_

He frowned. So did Temari. Well, he did not wear any when at home, which Temari was thankful for. She always wondered why her makeup mysteriously disappeared before…

"I'm a fan of Kabuki theatre" he answered, thinking on how to explain his fascination without sounding too obsessed. "They made use of face paint and stuff there, each color meaning something…" Gaara shook his head. His brother sounded like a nerd in his ears.

"Theatre, huh?" Kisame thought aloud. "Maybe I should get in to that"

"Yeah!" Kankuro concurred. "In fact, there's a show coming up, and…" The two then started to chat themselves.

"Okay…next letter then" Temari opened another…

_Temari,_

_How do you get your hair into those four ponytails?_

_You must be the four-tailed! O.o_

Silence. All was quiet. Even Kisame and Kankuro's banter was hushed. Mentions of any of the tailed beasts always made their guards up.

Taking it upon himself to break the quiet, Kisame cleared his throat, "You know, Mari-chan, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were the four-tailed" he then chuckled lightly in an effort to keep the mood light.

Temari followed suit. Kisame had a point there. Soon, everyone joined in while Itachi smiled to himself.

"I blame Gaara for this" she said, pointing to her hair. "He played with it when I was, ahem, distracted… we were kids back then"

"But you like it" Gaara defended.

"And that's why it stayed this way" she smiled at him, fixing one of the lower ponytails that got loose. "On to the next letter!"

"We're answering quite a lot now, huh?" Kisame cheered.

_Itachi and Temari,_

_What is his/her worst habit?_

The once loving look on Temari's face and the smug one on Itachi's soon turned to that of annoyance… for Temari at least. Itachi went back to looking as impassive as ever.

"I'm done!" Kankuro crossed his utensils, threw his napkin beside the plate and left in a hurry. Gaara and Kisame glanced at each other before doing the same. Itachi and Temari were left alone in one of their staring, rather, glaring contests.

"Don't even start Temari" he warned.

She was unfazed. "You know I am going to. And there's nothing you can do to stop me" His knife was then thrown at her direction. It whipped just centimeters away from her face and got stuck on the wall behind her. She did not react, it was expected, and kept her stare. "You missed" she scoffed.

"I intended to" he argued. It was a warning shot. If Temari dare blabbed anything that personal about him, he swore he would not feel even an ounce of guilt when he would graze that pretty face of hers. "Next time you won't be so lucky"

"Ooh… I'm sooo scared!" Sarcasm. He hated that a lot, she knew. This was one of the reasons he did not like getting attached to someone. All his secrets could and would be used against him, which was inevitably going to happen at that point. And for what? For some show he had unwillingly participated himself in, for people he did not even know who claimed to be his fans and supporters of his affair with Temari. His blood boiled slightly, but his face was stone. He had reached for Gaara's knife and took aim.

"Itachi's worst habit i-" she never got to finish her sentence as another knife was thrown at her. She gasped; the knife had finally hit its mark – her left cheek. Itachi was in for it now. "You're going to pay for that…" she took hold of everything she could get her hands on which consisted of spoons, forks, knives, glasses, plates and food. The sand ninja threw them all at his direction. It was a barrage of fury.

The Uchiha remained glued to his seat, analyzing. He thought of what he was going to do with the blonde the moment he got out of his seat. The bombardment of utensils and food came at him in slow motion through his Sharingan eyes. If Temari wanted to play rough, he would give it to her and more…

They missed. She threw _everything_ on her side of the table, and they missed. She blinked once and Itachi was gone. All of what was left was the mess she hurled at him. One strong arm abruptly strangled her from behind, Temari's hands instinctively reached for it trying to loosen Itachi's grip. "Let… go!" She cursed at herself. She should have anticipated this.

Her mind flashed back to the time he was teaching her self-defense. She was no ninja then and was so eager to learn. She racked her brain for a way to get out of his tough hold. A light bulb moment took place as she elbowed his neck. Itachi was taller after all. He ducked, as she thought he would. But he let her go in the process which was just what she needed to deliver her next blow, a kick to his side. He caught it and flung her onto the table with a flip. She groaned in pain, her back landing on plate shards.

"You're out of shape, Temari" he mocked, clicking his tongue. "I am disappointed" It had been a long time since their last battle, and he had assumed she had improved. The fight had only begun and she was already injured. Konoha and Suna's training of their ninjas must have tremendously degraded.

The world was spinning, that much she knew. Her head had hit the surface hard, that crackling sound she heard as she crashed must have left a dent on the table. She was supposed to be stronger now, damn it! How could it have come to this? 'No…' she clenched her fists. Itachi will not have the last laugh, not this time. She with all her willpower tried to regain focus as the Uchiha approached.

xxXxx

In the living room, the three were anxious. Kankuro sat on one end of the couch, his arms hugging his knees in an attempt at comforting himself. Gaara sat across his brother, his leg over the other, and seemed to be in deep thought. Kisame, on the other hand, paced back and forth between the sand siblings, sucking the tip of his thumb slightly. They were at a loss of what to do. The sounds of glass and porcelain being broken, heavy thuds and Temari's curses did nothing to soothe their worries. They heightened them. The men would flinch at every noise heard.

"Was it really a good idea to just leave them there?" Kisame asked, breaking the thoughts of his two companions.

"Let's go back for them" Gaara proposed. Kankuro looked at him as if he had grown another head.

"Are you nuts?! What if we get killed?" the puppet master was evidently scared.

"Yeah…" Kisame agreed. "But what of Temi-chan?"

"He wouldn't kill her…" Kankuro stated "…right?" He looked at Kisame with hopeful eyes, as did Gaara.

"H-hey! Why are you looking at me as if I have all the answers?" he clasped his hands together. Itachi would not kill her, of that he was certain. But as to what extent he will do to hurt her, he was not sure… especially with someone like her. Temari has got spunk, guts he would never have when dealing with Itachi. He had his fair share of jokes around the man but he knew never to go below the belt which, in Temari's case, she did often… literally and figuratively, he mused. He shuddered at the thought that came into his mind and dismissed it as quickly as it came. That girl seriously needed to know what crossed the line.

As the eldest among the three, he carried the burden of having to decide their next action. Their lives depended on his notion which added to the gravity of the situation he was in. 'Fight or flight?'

xxXxx

He was on top of her now, his kunai pressed against the skin below her throat, but the pressure was not enough to draw blood just yet. She kept her eyes fixed on his. The fight was still on. But she had to come up with a plan to escape his evil clutches. This proved to be difficult, however, as he placed his legs on top of hers and all his weight with it. 'Man, this guy's heavy…' she thought. Realization slapped her in the face when she noticed that her hands were free. Why was that? Was Itachi losing his touch? She doubted that. But she was going to use this partial freedom to her advantage… with a little help from her acting skills, of course.

She breathed heavily as he leaned closer. Her gaze softened as she waited for his reaction. There was none. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head to the side feigning defeat. "Itachi…" she whispered. The knife was soon replaced, and she smiled inside. 'Was it working?' She sure hoped so.

"Had enough?" his voice was also in whispers but held that scary edge to it. She stared at him once more; his look of scrutiny had decreased at least. Now was her chance. A plate shard was in her hand and with it she stabbed his head. He saw it, and grabbed her arm. He scowled at her ridiculous effort, but soon tilted his head back in pain as Temari tugged his hair at full force with her other hand. The movement freed her legs and she kneed his stomach, rolling free as he pulled away.

Itachi recovered quickly however, his displeasure now tenfold, "Temari…" he grunted. She was on the other end of the room, a shuriken placed between her fingers. He guessed she managed to grab some during her run. A variety of small weapons adorned the dining hall. Its purpose more than just plain décor. If this was how she wanted it, he will play along with her. He reached for his kunai again, and sneered. "Come" he taunted.

xxXxx

Mailbox still waited, oblivious to all commotion inside.

xxXxx

A camera focused on Temari. Now was her chance! "You steal all the blankets…" she started, throwing a star after every bad habit she said. "… You finish all the cookies…"

Itachi stood and stared. Temari still wanted to answer the letter, it seemed. She had already begun so there was nothing he could do about it now, except…"You drool in your sleep"

"WHAT?!" she shrieked. How could he say that? How dare he say that? "Hey, that was one time, you hear me?! One time!"

"Really now? I could have sworn your pillow was wet more than once after waking up…"

She could not believe the words coming from his mouth. "Well, you would know, pillow sniffer!"

"I do not sniff pillows, bathroom hog" he retorted.

"OC freak"

"Over spender"

Somewhere in the mansion, Peter and the director smiled at each other… their ratings would go up for sure.

xxXxx

"Well?" Gaara asked, getting impatient. Every second could mean a scar for Temari. They could not afford to delay things further.

Kisame nodded, determination in his eyes "Men, we're going in" he announced.

xxXxx

They were still at it. The wall by then was devoid of any weapons that were once displayed. Neither of them was injured, they dodged weapon after weapon while humiliating each other. It was turning out to be a tie.

"Thumb sucker"

"Do not confuse me for that shark!" he barked. Being accused for the fish's habit spiked his irritation to a whole new level. That was absolute injustice.

Temari reached for a kunai, the closest to her being on the table, pinning the letter that started all of this wreck. As she took it, her eyes glanced over its content.

_Itachi and Temari,_

_What is his/her worst habit?_

So she was only supposed to say one? 'Oops' She had really done it now. But what is done is done. She could not reverse the events, or the scars she received. She had said a lot and yet had not answered the question. What was Itachi's worst habit?

The fighting came to an abrupt halt. What happened? The blonde looked baffled staring at a piece of paper. What was wrong? He approached her carefully; the possibility of her stature being all an act was likely. The Uchiha was behind her now yet she did not move an inch, her eyes on the paper still. He peered over her shoulder and soon understood what perplexed the blonde.

"You're a nag" he stated calmly, taking a step back.

"Maybe it's because you keep saying 'hn' all the time!" Her reasoning was off but none of them cared at the moment.

"I don't say 'hn' all the time" was his defense.

"You just did!"

And they were staring each other down yet again. Back to square one.

xxXxx

"Ready ninjas?" Kisame asked, keeping his gear intact.

"Ready" they answered.

The three men moved in, their mission started. During preparations, they decided to call themselves HUNKS, on Kisame's insistence. For what it stood for, the shark kept it to himself. Kankuro did not have any qualms on the name. He liked it. And Gaara kept quiet. Their first operation: Rescue Temari. Or Itachi. Whoever was more injured.

Each of the members wore war paint which was really Temari and Kankuro's makeup. The patterns on their faces differed from one another both in design and colour. Gaara kept his simple, only wearing it at the assertion of the other two. To better their appearance, Kankuro had found army uniforms, which they now wore, sprawled on his bed. Someone seemed to like the idea and helped them. It was probably the director who put the clothes there, the older brother thought.

They were entering a warzone here. That was no joke considering they were up against the blonde and ebony forces. "Expect the unexpected, men" said the shark man.

Kisame reached the room connecting the living room and dining hall. He looked at his scouts and communicated through sign language in the way he knew how – charades. Team leader Hoshikage ordered them to keep their eyes and ears open. The two nodded. He could not remember a time in his life when he felt this proud. He was appointed leader, and those two actually looked up to him, his height aside. If only his mother were here to see this…

The dining hall came into view and the three composed themselves. They entered all together, Gaara in the middle. What they saw next was most definitely unexpected…

Temari lied on the table, Itachi's hands all over her. The two were making out just as fiercely as their fight was moments ago, if not more. Even their little session seemed to be a battle against dominance. Blonde or Ebony? It was hard to say who was winning.

Gaara soon found it pitch black as two hands covered his eyes, Kisame's over Kankuro's. The scene before them was undoubtedly rated Mature. Those under eighteen years of age would have suffered a trauma that would scar them for life. Sunagakure's Kage had suffered more than enough. He did not need to see this.

"Okay…" Kisame, after about a minute later, regained his senses. "Let's just back away real slowly"

The two siblings nodded in unison, and all three walked backwards in synch to a safe distance. Once the lovebirds were out of sight, they released Gaara and all three ran separately into their bathrooms. Glad to be rid of the obscenity and bile.

* * *

**AN**: That's all for now. I will concentrate on Book One as I wait for your favorable reviews. Sorry for any errors. Do point them out. How'd you like the action bit? It was my first time writing one so please be considerate. And I do hope this chapter was funny enough, despite the seriousness. Mail Time should be humorous... at least I try to make it seem that way. Suggestions are appreciated. And by the way, has my writing improved at all? I sure hope so. Please comment on that too. I desperately need your honest opinions. Till then... Ja Ne!


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